The Importance of Human Connection to the Development of Self

Throughout human history, mankind has always understood the role of community. Even the early Samarians, understood the importance of group dynamics, although, they may not have identified it as such. In most early cultures, men and women knew their role within their society. These roles were and are developmental in the construction of each individual’s self image. The individual’s role within the community defined who or what a person would become. And, through this communal connection a person finds “self.” This concept, in modern times, is known as the development of the self. When most Americans hear the word self it tends to conjure images of singularity and individuality. But, this American or western mindset is not the only mindset. Many other cultures throughout our world believe that the self can only develop through a solid connection with the community one lives in. The latter viewpoint is much older and time honored. Even the modern day idea of individual rights and freedoms is built on a connection to community. The self and its subsequent development is inexplicably connected to others. Self is best thought of as connected. The self is inescapable connected to other people through continuity, human interaction, and inequality.
In today’s modern world, the individual is seen as separate from his/her peers, an entity onto his or herself. Control over a person’s life lies completely with the individual. This mindset is relatively new to our global culture. The concept of disconnected individualism did not start to flourish until the industrial revolution. And, it has come to be synonymous with modern Western thought. Of course, in the past, there have been exceptions. Kings, clergy men and tyrants have always held some degree of disconnected self and therefore, it could be said never developed a true sense of self. Throughout time, the most successful rulers were the ones most connected to the people and society over which he or she ruled. A clear example of how even a person who appears disconnected to his/her community is, in reality, part of that community, and as a result of this connection, will be influenced by it.
It is clear, at least in my mind, that modern Western thought does not lend itself to the speculation of self. The erosion of our dependence on community, as a means for survival, has muted people’s connections to each other and consequently themselves. As a result, self has become secondary to individuality. Yet, because Western thought does not places importance on communal connection, the concept of self is being at best muted, at worst disregarded. Clearly, a feeling of mutual communal connection is foundational to the development of self. Even in an age of unprecedented human connection, the lack of the communal connection felt in modern societies has translated into a lack of a true understanding of self.
The self is depended on continuity. Without a connection to past generations, people loss site of who they are. Identifying self is very difficult when one has no point of reference. The effects of losing continuity with the past are most prevalent in societies that have been subjugated and/or oppressed. W.E.B. Dubois illustrates this in “The Souls of Black Men” when he laments, “The negro is a sort of seventh son, born with a veil, and gifted with second-site in this American world,--a world which yields him no true self-consciousness, but only lets him see himself through the revelation of the other world.” Dubois understood that the Negro’s lack of connection to their past was hindering their ability to develop a sense of self. Even freedom did not immediately help the American slave to find or develop a sense of self. The loss of their past was too great. For too many years slaves attempted to connect with the past through their white owners. And, although a form of self did develop within the slave population, it was a distorted or false sense of self. Once the American Slave attained freedom, he/she did not know his/her place in the new order. On one hand, the freed slaves were seeking self from the white oppressors and on the other hand, seeking self from a past they did not know. Dubois expressed this when he wrote, “Here in America in the few days since Emancipation, the black man’s turning hither and thither in hesitant and doubtful striving has often made his very strength lose effectiveness, to seem like absence of power like weakness.” The confusion was not a sign of weakness it was a result or consequence of the systematic loss of some sense of continuity. Whenever an individual or a group of individuals loss their connection to the past, the self will either be distorted or non existent.
True development of the self requires direct interaction with others. Proof of this can be found in my college text book entitled, Society the Basics, by John Macionis. It tells the story of Ann a young girl found in 1938. Her arms, legs, and head were bound so she could not move and seven years of her life were spent this way in a windowless storage room. Ann’s mother gave the child only enough food to keep her alive and never engaged in meaningful interaction with the child. Thankfully Ann was rescued, but the damage was already done. Ann had no sense of self, and even after years of therapy, Ann never attained any semblance of who she was or could become. Of course, this is an extreme example, but it clearly underscores the importance of human interaction to the development of self. Without direct human interaction the self has nothing to model itself after. Ifeanyi A. Menkiti expresses this in his essay “Person and Community in African Traditional Thought.” when he wrote, “We must also conceive of this organism as going through a long process of social and ritual transformation until it attains the full complement of excellencies seen as truly definitive man. And during this long process of attainment, the community plays a vital role as catalyst and as prescribes of norms.” In my mind, this quote is a sort of map to selfhood. It clearly expresses the direct link between full development of self and the need for human interaction. Developing the self without human interaction is like a painter, locked in a completely dark room, and asked to paint something he has never seen.
The affects of inequality, in regards to the development of self, should not be taken lightly. There can be no inequality without two opposing groups connecting in some way. Even if the connection is damaging- it is a connection none the less. It does not matter if you are being oppressed by inequality or the oppressor of inequality, the result is the same, a distorted view of self. I have mentioned the plight of the African American in western society earlier in this essay. And of course, inequality played a role in the lack of self the Negro felt and even feels today. But, the African American is not the only group to suffer a lack of self from inequality. Women have been so subjected to the affects of inequality that even today they still have difficulty determining who they are and where they fit in society. In the late 1800’s the Emancipation Proclamation gave civil and legal rights to the Negro man. Yet women, regardless of color, were still not given either of these rights. It could be argued that, as a group, women have felt the damaging effects of inequality more than the black race. It was one hundred years after the freeing of the black man before woman gained any type of equal freedom. Women understood this inequality long before they were able to gain equal rights.
Before the Civil War, a group of women led by Elizabeth Cady Staton organized a convention to discuss women’s rights. It was held in Seneca Falls, New York during the summer of 1848. During the convention, a speech called the “Declaration of Sentiments and Resolutions” was given. In the speech, it is clear that these women, one hundred and thirty years before they were to win equality, knew the effect it was having on their development of self. We find proof of this understanding in several quotes from the speech. For example, “He has endeavored, in every way that he could, to destroy her confidence in her own powers, to lessen her self-respect, and to make her willing to lead a dependent and abject life.” and “In the covenant of marriage, she is compelled to promise obedience to her husband, he becoming, to all intents and purposes, her master.” Clearly, women’s fight to gain equality had a direct effect on their ability to find self attainment. When a person or a group of people are treated unequally, a connection with the oppressor is made, and as a result of this damaging connection, “the self” can not form.
Of course, it could be argued that the development of self is not affected by human connections, because even individuals such as hermits have some sense of self. And, that the self is innate to human kind and present at birth. On the contrary, Even hermits are connected to the community they ostracize. A hermit may have a sense of self, but it is an under developed or warped sense of self. Take for example the Unabomber. Although he lived secluded from almost all forms of civilized life, he still was affected by society. His connection with people led to his disregard for human life and ultimately to a warped sense of self, but a type of self none the less. The fact that he was willing to kill people for the perceived wrongs they had done, illustrates the connection he had with others. And that connection, although dangerous created the Unabomber’s sense of self. The self is not something that is present at birth. I would agree that the potential for self is present at birth but not the fully developed self. The development of self can be compared to the development of walking, reasoning, and respect. At birth, an infant can do none of these things, but over time and interaction with others and their outside world these skills/traits are honed. The development of self functions the same way. At birth a child has no semblance of “the self.” He/she is at the mercy of the people around him/her, not just for sustenance, but also, for the development of his/her self-image. This example furthers my opinion that “the self” is best thought of as connected. It takes interaction and connection to begin the process of developing a true sense of self. Without the direct support of the people around an infant, and a feeling of continuity between the infant- the adults- and the past, the child will not be treated equally, and as a result, have either an under developed sense of self, a warped since of self or no sense of self at all.
And so, here we are painful dense yet woefully disconnected. Why is that? Have we lost a connection with the past? Has the advent of synthesized entertainment left us unable or unwilling to truly connect interactively? Did the atmosphere of inequality permeate so deeply we no longer know the difference? No, we have not lost our connection with the past. Even those who have lost their past have continuity. It is of little consequence whether it is found in searching for the lost past or reinventing a new past, as long as it is found. No, the Information Age has not left us less interactive. We are interacting and thereby developing self, but a warped sense of self. Because the interaction is artificial, none of the human responses during face to face interaction are taking place. As a result, “the self” is void of these basic human connections and ultimately left lacking. There is no answer to the question of inequality. I personally have none. Is it a throw back from our animal heritage? Is inequality an expression of instinct in humans? Is social evolution strong enough to overcome inequality? To these inquires I give a resounding, I do not know. But, we are connected, all of us. It does not matter how or in what we believe. We are connected---through the collective continuity that binds us to the Earth---The inescapable force of interaction ---and the unequal treatment of others.

The two Histories of Liberals and Conservatives

Evolution of Liberals

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadichunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer andwould go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beerand the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to thebeer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were thecatalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:1. Liberals2. Conservatives.Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented,they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at nightwhile they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing thesewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberalmovement.Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest becameknown as girliemen .Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, theinvention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic votingto decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.Over the years, conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, mostpowerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by thejackass.Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer whitewine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef welldone. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have highertestosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injuryattorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists areliberals.Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to makethe pitcher also bat.Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women.Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, constructionworkers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives,athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively.Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to workfor a living.Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers anddecide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are moreenlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America They crept in after theWild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.Here ends today's lesson in world history: It should be noted that a Liberalmay have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwardingit. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolutetruth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other truebelievers and to more liberals just for the hell of it.

The two Histories of Liberals and Conservatives

Evolution of Conservatives

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadichunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer andwould go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beerand the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to thebeer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were thecatalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:1. Liberals2. Conservatives.Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented,they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days monitoring and controlling thickheaded men who were perfectly designed to serve the more educated and refined men. This was the beginning of what is known as the Liberal movement.

Other men of a more intellectual nature and being more skilled in managerial duties learned to manage their bulkier yet dimwitted counter parts. Using them to attain and distribute meat and raw materials. One such intelligent Liberal leader invented BBQ sauce and with it found that if given to the conservative hunters it would shut them up while they gorge themselves on this newfound taste. Of course, the wives of the bullheaded hunters did all the sewing, fetching, fishing, and hairdressing. This was the beginning of the Conservative movement. Some of these conservative men eventually evolved into snakes and rats. The rest becameknown as assholes.

Some noteworthy conservative achievements include the domestication of minorities, theinvention of slavery, group killing, and the concept of smash and grabto decide how to divide the meat and beer that liberals had control over.

Over the years, conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, fattest land animal on earth, the elephant. A symbol of excess and indulgence if not meat headed strength. (also elephant groups are controlled and maintained by the female) Liberals are symbolized by the jackass aka the donkey. A reliable and resilient beast that helped forge the construction of the civilized world.

Modern liberals like imported beer because they understand that Europeans have been making it longer and or better at it. Some prefer white wine or bottled water as a way to stay fit and avoid the massive distended bellies that most of their conservative lessers have. Their tuff enough to eat raw fish, have learned to turn soybean into a protein rich food and like their beef, anyway it comes. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of conservative women have higheradrenaline levels than other women making them loud, high strung, and pushy.

Most Lawyers, Sales men, accountants, IRS workers, insurance adjusters and thieving CEOs are conservatives.

Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because conservatives do not know how to play nice with other people and only consider what they want.

Conservatives drink domestic beer because they do not know any better. They eat red meat as a way to be tuff to compensate for their lacking intellect. And still provide for their women because their women can’t do it themselves.

Conservatives are big-game hunters because guns and killing are simple.
Conservatives are rodeo cowboys because they like having big bulls strapped between their legs and it is good method to kill off and maintain an acceptable conservative population.
Conservatives are Lumberjacks because a large group of men in the woods is appealing to the conservative.
Conservatives are Construction workers because the liberals are paying them to do it. Conservatives are Police officers because they are power hungry and pitifully want to prove themselves.
Conservatives are corporate executives because they can steal from the workers.
Conservatives are Marines because they need guidance and must be told what to do.
Generally, Conservatives are anyone who works to further their own image or line their own pockets.

Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives because a liberal might expose them for the fakes they are.

Liberals produce cohesiveness and continuity. They govern the conservatives anddecide how best and fairly to distribute production. Liberals believe Europeans are our ancestors and deserve respect just as every other worthy person does. That is why most conservatives left Europe and came to America as criminals and outcasts. They stormed in and destroyed cultures, land and ecosystems and began to create a Wild West-everyman for himself culture. Finally, the Liberal showed up and could once again take control of the dim witted yet valuable conservatives.

Here ends today's lesson in world history: It should be noted that a Liberalmay have a momentary urge to delete this e-mail because all Liberals already know this stuff and conservatives are too intellectually lacking to understand it.
A Conservative will be so convinced of the absolutetruth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other conservatives thinking that it’s real instead of a joke.